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Так мы учились говорить о смерти. Дневник 2022–2023 годов

364015

Михаил Немцев

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These entries were made between April 2022 and July 2023 - on Telegram, Facebook and “at home”. I didn’t have any thoughts of publishing them later as a “diary”. I wanted to participate in discussions about what was happening to us and wrote down my thoughts about what was happening, trying to translate emotions into judgments.

These recordings were started after leaving Russia, in the kitchen of a hastily rented house on the outskirts of Yerevan. In the summer of 2023, I suddenly saw: these notes had become a kind of diary of the pre-war period.

At the beginning is the text of the speech in the cycle “The Time of Everyday Life and the Time of Events” of the YouTube channel of the Russian Foundation “Liberal Mission” (https://youtu.be/xcFtvlEud8Y), recorded at the invitation of Irina Chechel (Varskaya) in early April 2022 year: this was my first attempt at a public discussion of “what happened and why.”

The purpose of the notes collected in this book is to better understand this. Now they allow us to remember what they argued about in the first year and a half of the Russian-Ukrainian war. When publishing, I edited them minimally. Links to the mentioned texts and a few more relevant comments have also been added.

Now, although not much time has passed, it is already difficult to remember with certainty what exactly was experienced, what I wanted to think and talk about, say, in the fall of 2022. It’s not even the topics themselves that are forgotten, but the reasons for them, the intonation, the atmosphere. Occasions and moods change, those intonations are the first to disappear. That is why I decided that these notes deserve to be published in this form.

We spoke little directly about “death” then. But the characters in Satunovsky’s poem do not talk about it. But the conversations online and in reality, which are reflected in these notes, all of them happened in the presence of a mass murder, almost somewhere close to it - so they were really a school of self-study for talking about it, which is unlikely to have been fully completed by anyone now. I thank the publishing house “Nestor-History”. In those days, as always, my wife Anna was the most important interlocutor for me.

Mikhail Nemtsev, November 2023

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On the cover of the book:

1) “It’s both scary to leave home and scary to go home.” Work by Vladimir Abikh

text by Alexander Vavilov. Yerevan, March 2022,

2) “***** is coming.” Work by Mikhail Marker. St. Petersburg, December 2022 (https://www.instagram.com/p/Cl-tWkyogPB/?img_index=1)

3) “No woble!” The work of an unknown author. Fall 2022

4) “Dads must protect. You are needed there."

Recruitment poster in Blagoveshchensk. Summer 2023

On the back cover is the author of the book M. Nemtsev.

Yerevan, st. Kurginyan, April 2022. Photo by Anna Sokolova

Data sheet

ISBN 978-5-4469-2318-2
Publisher Нестор-История
Publication date 2024
Number of Pages 88
Bookbinding Softcover
Language Russian

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